Adjustments

In the interest of full disclosure, thus far in my "weight loss journey", I have been doing things, um, ahm... *coughhalfassedcoughcough*.

I went in to my husband the other day to talk about Yoga Booty Ballet, my favorite exercise video.
Me: "Hon, did this not work last time cuz it just won't work or cuz I wasn't eating well, do you think?"
Hon: "Probably a little of both."
Somehow, this evolved into a very long conversation about this attempt at weight loss. He's right- last time I lost any good weight, it was right before we got married and even though I denied it, that probably was the reason I lost. It was good motivation, to think about having to have my dress taken in.

We were talking about how I'm actually content this time- no major motivation. The scary thing is, he's half right. I have clothes that fit me. I don't have anything huge coming up. There is no one event that I'm losing for, or looking forward to.

But I have to not have one. Because that's dieting, and it's crucial to my health that I change the way I eat, the way I live. I have to make exercise, as much as I hate and detest it, a consistent part of who I am and what I do. I have to constantly make healthy eating choices. I just have to do it. I started to cry when I told him how scared I am that in a few years, if I don't make changes, I'm going to end up needing gastric bypass. He gave me a look that said you're crazy. When I said, hon, people at my height need it at like 280 to 300 pounds. It's not that far. He said, It's a far cry from 220 to 280.
I laid it out for him:
In May/ June of 2004, when we got married, I weighed about 160.
In January of 2005, I weighed 203 or so. Again.
In January of 2006, I weighed 221. In less than two years, I gained sixty pounds. That, my dear, is the difference between 220, what I recently weighed, and 280. It's not so far away if I don't get my life under control.

Never mind the risk of diabetes. And gestational diabetes. And colon cancer. Diabetes and colon cancer have both been in my family. Risk factors? Obesity.

The cold hard facts are scary, and changes must be made. They have to be.

So for now:
Exercise must be more vigorous that Yoga Booty Ballet. So I will do the Billy Blanks Boot Camp or some other very difficult, vigorous exercise at least three times a week, if I want to do YBB or yoga, good, but it must be on top of, not instead of the more demanding exercise. (I'm not putting down YBB. I LOVE YBB, but it's really not a weight loss plan. More of a toning/ limbering program.)
The Diabetic Exchange must be adhered to, daily. If for some reason (I AM human, folks) I mess up at a meal, instead of giving up the day, I will cross off the meal, act as though I had eaten what I should, and move on with the day.
I can have one "bad" or indulgent meal per week. This means, you guys, that Fridays off are OUT. I only have one meal. Not one day. Because? When I take fridays off, Fridays bleed into Saturday morning, and since I've "messed up" Sat Am, I just take Saturday and Sunday off too. And expect to lose weight by only eating well four days out of the week. No dice.

That's the deal. Adjustments are being made, please look for major movement in the scale. This is going to pay off. It will.