Foodaholics Anonymous

I'm kind of comparing my weight loss journey to an alcoholic's journey. Right now I'm somewhere between anger and rebellion. It's just that I HATE having to deal with this. I want to not have to worry about what I eat. I just want to put whatever I want to in my mouth, when I want to.

But, this is not my reality. The reality for me is that when I put crap in my mouth, it affects my body. I gain weight, I feel like crap both emotionally and physically. Some small weight is lifted off of me because for a time I don't have to stress about what I'm eating. I can just be mindless about it. I can not worry, not think about it. I can just not worry about what I'm eating.

I know it sounds drastic to say that my struggles with weight compare to an alcoholic's struggle. But I think they validly do. I am addicted to food. I use it for comfort. I go to it when I'm bored. When I'm sad, mad, angry, or happy, the first thing I think of is food. I have physical cravings for food. I will go days wanting one specific thing. Sometimes the craving doesn't even go away the first time I give in. Most recent? Pancakes and Reeses PB cup Blizzards. Oy.

There will be more on this later, but it's come to the point where my need to lose weight, or at the very least to change myeating habits, has become larger than just me (no pun intended). The pressure is on. If I want to have healthy babies, and want to be healthy, I have to make different choices.

So I'm adopting the alcoholic's favorite mantra: One Day At A Time. I'm going to eat well today. For this lunch. For this minute. Yes. I will make mistakes. I will mess up. I will have good days and bad days. But at the next meal, I will make different choices. And if I mess up, I move on. Clearly, all or nothing is very, very dangerous for me. So I'm not doing it that way anymore, for now.

One day at a time.