Lifetime

When you do Weight Watchers, they have something called a lifetime member. To be a lifetime member, you have to reach your goal, maintain it for six weeks, and voila! Lifetime member. It means you have to weigh in only once a month and have to stay within like a pound or two or something of your goal weight.

Why am I talking about WW when I don't do WW anymore, you wonder? Because of the point and what it means to me. I was thinking about how not so great I've done in the past week, foodwise. In the past, this would have quickly derailed ALL weight loss efforts. I would say, "eh. I messed up. I think I'll just take a 'break' from dieting that will last six months and cost me another 20-60 pounds".

This time it's different. I'm already a lifetime member. I haven't figured out all the details yet (read: holidays, eating out, and weekends), but I'm working on it. I really, really am. I know that in order to avoid some icky health problems, I have to change my outlook on food.

Forever. For a lifetime. Which kind of puts the screwups in perspective. As long as I maintain my lifetime membership, as long as I keep picking myself up, I think that I'll do ok. I might not lose weight as fast as I'd like. I might now be perfect. I might not do it right all the time. But as long as I keep going, I think I'll be ok. At some point (some point) I'll get to where I want to be. And do my best to stay there. But if I have the room to make mistakes, it's easier to conceive of doing this for a lifetime.

It's like in AA. They say, you're an alcoholic forever. Well, I'm a food addict. And so I need to claim that, and live the rest of my life accordingly. (Not in being a food addict, but living like I'm a recovering food addict.)

Lifetime. It's a long time. But for me? It's so important. There's no breaks. I have to accept who I am, and move on.