Less of Paige

Friday, September 23, 2005

A pool of pasta, my sister, and my nephew

This week has not been the best. My sister went into the hospital. Some nonsense about an abcess, possibly a staph infection, and IV antibiotics. Strong ones. :( Me and my sister are very, very close. We talk to each other every single morning, and often several more times throughout the day. There isn't much that I haven't told my sister, and I believe vice versa. She's my big sister, she's 9 years older than me. She's strong, independent, and funny. And strong. And hearing her struggle to talk earlier in the week, then knowing that she was so sick she needed to be in the hospital, threw me for a loop. I don't know- I think for everyone there are some people in your life that are just symbols of strength. You know- that seem to just always be ok. My sister, in her lifetime, has been to hell and back. And yet she's come through to the other side. She's an example to me. (If she ever finds this and reads this, she's going to laugh her ass off at that thought. Trust me.) It's disconcerting to have her weak. And no, it wasn't necessarily a life-threatening condition, she wasn't in the ICU, on a vent, or really getting assistance with any of her needs. She was just sick. And it scared me and made me realize just how much I love her and how important she is to me. Just so you know.

Then there's the son she has. She also has a daughter. But today is Caleb's day, her son. My nephew. A little over seven years ago, my big sister (see above) told us she was pregnant. My first niece or nephew!! I was so excited, and honestly was surprised by the intensity with which I loved the little person growing in my sister. And then almost exactly seven years ago, then got the news that the little boy (they didn't tell us it was a boy until we got this news) had Down's Syndrome. This was devastating at the time. Overwhelming and sad.
And then Caleb arrived. And really, I think that boy has had us all wrapped around his finger since the day he showed up and blinked at us. With those deep, trusting blue eyes that he has. The first few years of Caleb's life I was away at college. I remember coming home and just holding him, holding tight to him. Ever since he was very little he has ALWAYS greeted me with a full speed ahead, running hug. That is the best feeling EVER, to see a little person who's so excited to see you they have to run full speed ahead for that hug. Since I came home from college, I've made it a point to be a big part of Caleb and his sister Ellie's lives. It's one of the bigger reasons I moved back to this state. I really loved California, but how would they know their Aunt Paige if they didn't see me often? They wouldn't, not like they do now. Now they are comfortable enough to come and stay with us for the weekend. I know them and they know me. Caleb is very important to me. I frequently think, "My God, if I love someone this much, and they're not even my own child, I cannot imagine what it will be like to have my own child." It's a little scary cuz I have a lot of love in my heart for my nephew. Alot. The reason today is for Caleb is because this weekend is the Buddy Walk for the National Down Syndrome Society in Manhattan. I have been looking forward to this forever. I'm the team captain of our team, Cruisin for Caleb. I can't wait. We'll all go and support Caleb, who is the sweetest six year old boy you could ever hope to meet.

Lastly, the pool of pasta. My weight loss buddy told me this week that I am "swimming in carbs". What, you think, does that mean? You have a pool of pasta in your backyard (I wish). I miss the days when we only focused on fat and calories and didn't worry so so much about carbs. I've read the South Beach Diet book, so I know what all the fuss is about. (I'm not on SBD, by the way. In case you were curious). I just- I don't like the fuss. I liked it when we didn't care about carbs. Cuz I looooooove me my potatoes, pasta, and popcorn. Yes maam, I do. In a few weeks my husband and I are going to see a nutritionist, and I wonder what her position on carbs is going to be. Regardless, I hope she has some helpful advice for me. Really I do.


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