Less of Paige

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Poor Neglected Blog

Yes. It's been almost a week.

There are reasons, though, folks. Reasons. We had doctors appointments. For a whole day. Then the cutest kids ever, my niece and nephew, were here. For three days. Then I was tired and slept. Then my cat went to the vet for a spay and declaw and I cried for two days. And now it's today. ;)

On the weight loss thing- well I have a few thoughts. One of them is, I don't think I want this all to be about weight loss. Cuz for one thing, that's not all there is to my life. For another thing, I have more interesting stuff to say. (Once in a while anyways). But because this is an outlet for me to deal with my weight loss (or not, at this point), it will still be a primary topic around here.

So on that. I went to the MD and basically she said that a major problem is that I have very high insulin. I do not have insulin resistance, but I do have hyperinsulinemia. Or something like that big word. This has the potential to cause two major problems for me: diabetes (in general) and then if and when I get pregnant, that it could likely cause gestational diabetes.

So if I want to get pregnant, and I do sometime in the next few years, it would be really, really encouraged for me to lose weight so that I can be healthy. That's a bigger deal for me than avoiding diabetes for me personally. I mean, I do want to avoid that, but I really want to have kids and I really, really want to have a healthy pregnancy. I'm already starting in the negative- I'm heterozygous for MTHFR. So... I want to do everything I can to be healthy in other ways.

The problem is, I cannot for the life of me seem to make changes. I have for a long time believed that in order to get people to change their behavior, you have to give them the appropriate motivation. I have all the necessary motivation- reasons to lose weight. I made a list about it a while ago and now I can add diabetes and gestational diabetes to the list of reasons to lose weight. But when faced with a cider donut, or three cheese penne, I don't make good decisions. When faced with the option of going to the gym or catching up on Dawson's Creek, the Tyra Banks show, or Jeopardy, I'll often pick what my father refers to as the idiot box.

I just do not know how to get myself to get up and go. To, as my weight loss buddy and I refer to it, dust myself off and get going. I have had frequent starts and even more frequent stops. I just don't feel like it.

so there.

this is not a fun way to live, let me tell you that.


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